We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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