You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
