I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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