we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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