he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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