this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
