i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
