I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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