I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize