Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
