he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There are leaves in my underwear?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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