I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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