I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
