I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
