East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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