Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
