Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
