i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
