Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
