KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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