Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
