So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
