I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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