Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
