it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
