Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
