Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
