Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
