she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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