They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
