I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
