I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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