i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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