how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
