I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
