We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
