My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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