During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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