need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
