I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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