Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize