yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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