Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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