Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
