It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
