4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
