Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Found your dick twin last night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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