It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
