Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize