oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You took a bar mat shot.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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