The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
