Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
