So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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