i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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