I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
