everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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