At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found puke in my bra..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
