Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
