I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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