You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize