This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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