Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
