We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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