Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize