Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
