I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
