Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
