my mouth tastes like poor choices
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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