Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
