You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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