Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
