Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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