I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
