Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
