I have demons in me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
