literally had 100 drinks last night.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
