Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
