I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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