the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's gonorrhea incarnate
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
