dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize