Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
