five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
