She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
