I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
