dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
