no. you can't hotbox the world.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We have started to decorate penises.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
