i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
