Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize