I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
